incompetence

I just have to whine.

This photographer that my company hired for an event some time back. Came from an iron rice bowl background, only that the iron turned out not so very sturdy after all.
So he's out in the marketplace, but he's crusty and full of "I'm-experienced-and-don't-you-little-girl-come-tell-me-what-to-do" attitude.

So here I'm trying to be respectful of his experience and his years but still I have to make sure he gets what the job entails.
Everything I say, he'll go "Ok, no problem, sure can do".

Only......right now, about 6 months after he's gone, I'm still trying to clear the messy detritus of his work so I can actually make something out of it.

Moral of the story??
Never get so in the rut that you cannot get out of it.
Adaptation is the key word of the future.

Back to the rubble I go.

Why do you strive?

In writing the previous post, I started thinking about why we all train so hard - why, in touch season our contact girls keep the same tiring schedule and work on their fitness and endurance. Why, in contact season, our few pure touch barrakudas make every training and every game and work their asses off to hold a weaker team together against 1st div teams.

Even in season, you find crazies spending 72 hours at work, coming down to training, back to office and then only back to home for a couple hours nap. You have bluntnoses (ie nose to grindstone until there's no pointy nose tip) falling asleep in their cars while waiting for training to start. You have no-lifers who go to office at 5am, leave the training ground at 10pm and then the whole cycle starts again the next day.

Its not because of the coach, its not because of the captain. Could it be because of the team? Possibly.

I also think that these people work so hard because of the love of the game.

And when you love something, you'll respect all aspects of it.
You respect the game, so you do all you can to do well in it.
You respect your teammates, so you do all you can to support them.
You respect your opponents, so you try your best to give them a good game, no grandstanding, no giving up, play your hardest til the whistle goes
You respect the officials, so even if they make a wrong call, you just play the game, no backchat or arguments

I guess things start breaking down when there is a perception of less, or no respect.
Simplest would be when you perceive the referee as being biased against your team. That'd make you want to dispute every call.
When you perceive your teammate as not trying hard enough at training or game. That'll result in a flareup, pretty soon.

So what happens when things go wrong?

Disappointed

I want to tell you this to your face - but only if you come to me. Because that will show me that you want to change, that you have the heart to change.

Why am I so disappointed?

My first instinct is to point the finger at you... Sad, isn't it, when even alone, one's immediate reaction is to avoid blaming one's own self.. push the blame to any and everyone but yourself. Human nature??
But in the end, it all comes down to ME. As it starts with ME, it should end with ME.

So, scrub that, can't blame you. I should not blame YOU for MY failure.

I feel disappointed because I feel like I have failed.
I have failed as a coach - in not imparting to you my ethics and spirit of sportsmanship.
I have failed as a coach - in not stopping all this when it first started. When I was afraid of losing players.. and in doing so, I have almost lost a team.
I have failed as a coach - in not becoming involved in this early enough.

I have failed the sport I love - because I have not passed to you the love of the game.

In you, I have dishonoured the game.