Disappointed

I want to tell you this to your face - but only if you come to me. Because that will show me that you want to change, that you have the heart to change.

Why am I so disappointed?

My first instinct is to point the finger at you... Sad, isn't it, when even alone, one's immediate reaction is to avoid blaming one's own self.. push the blame to any and everyone but yourself. Human nature??
But in the end, it all comes down to ME. As it starts with ME, it should end with ME.

So, scrub that, can't blame you. I should not blame YOU for MY failure.

I feel disappointed because I feel like I have failed.
I have failed as a coach - in not imparting to you my ethics and spirit of sportsmanship.
I have failed as a coach - in not stopping all this when it first started. When I was afraid of losing players.. and in doing so, I have almost lost a team.
I have failed as a coach - in not becoming involved in this early enough.

I have failed the sport I love - because I have not passed to you the love of the game.

In you, I have dishonoured the game.