Stiff upper lip? Must be the hairy mustache..

I've been through some emotional upheaval recently ... which has led to me wondering how deeply do I feel things, really?!

I used to be pretty resigned to the fact that I am cold, unfeeling, a total heartless bitch.
Like when a teammate passed away suddenly, and I went to the wake, other friends were crying their eyes out while all I felt was a mild pang of loss, and that was that.
At past breakups I felt bad at the pain I was causing to the other party, tears at the loss of a friend, but never to the extent of heartbreak. It was more like, please move on so I don't feel so bad.

Well karma has bitten me right on the ass... I am now on the receiving end of the "move on, why don't you" attitude. Can't say I dislike it, really. This rather suits my cold unfeeling yadda yadda self. And after all, I'm not growing any older and I do need to *move on* and find someone who wants me. Apparently there are many who think I am gorgeous. pfffffffffffft... that's probably a wail-prevention phrase.

Me: "nobody wants me" *blows nose unelegantly*
Cornered Friend, desperately looking for an escape route: "Oh no, heaps of people think you're gorgeous and fantastic"
Me: "Oh yeah, and who's that?"
*silence, Cornered Friend having managed to slip off*

OK the above is not fair to the friends I have managed to corner, as they have (mostly not knowing the situation) been a great support and the sole reason I made it through Christmas.

And the best thing is, I have discovered my feelings! Took a bit of finding, they were rather withered from lack of use...but they're there, and that's not a bad way to start a new year.

Now to start writing new year resolutions...