Self pity

I have decided that I will allow myself 10 minutes of maudlin martyrdom each week. And we shall see if this reduces, or...

Undeserving self pity with what else is happening in the world to nations and to individuals who suffer -fear, pain, humiliation- before departing this plane permanently.

Yet life holds no joy for me.
If I could end it, causing no mess for others. I don't know which door I will pick.